VERY SHORT FUNNY JOKES - laughing tonic (07)

MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
EGGISTU: Because of absence
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
EGGISTU: No, but the kid who sits next to me was

TEACHER: Well, there is one thing I can say about your son
FATHER: And what's that?
TEACHER: With grades like this, he couldn't be cheating

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday
EGGISTU: Seven
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
EGGISTU: Nine
TEACHER: That is impossible
EGGISTU: No, it isn't sir. I'm eight today

NEW TEACHER: Are you chewing gum
EGGISTU: No, I am Eggistu Kappu

(A dancing couple)
WIFE: I want to dance like this forever
HUSBAND: Don't you ever want to improve?

WIFE: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other
MAN: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth

EGGISTU: I love you, I could die for you
PEPISCO: How soon?
EGGISTU: ???

PEPISCO: Alinco says I'm pretty. Akpors says I'm ugly. What do you think?
EGGISTU: A little bit of both; I think you're pretty ugly

TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave
EGGISTU: Yes sir
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't
EGGISTU: Yes sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours

ATEPO: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not!
ATEPO: Good!! Because I didn't do my homework

TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Atepo's paper
EGGISTU: I hope you didn't either

(NO MORE SEATS FOR PEPISCO TO SIT)
EGGISTU: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I'm comfortably seated
PEPSICO: Awww, so what do you do
EGGISTU: I close my eyes

JUDGE: What are you charged with?
DEFENSE: Doing normal shopping
JUDGE: That's no offense; how early?
CULPRIT: Before the doors were opened.

WHATSAPP SCENARIO:
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Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
Someone is typing...
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Someone: Hi

TEACHER: Name one animal that lives in water
ALINCO: Frog
TEACHER: Add 3 more
ALINCO: His father, mother and sister