When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter
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How did two crazy men go through the forest? They took the psycho path.
.If you can't manage a relationship, you can try other SHIPS like. internship , kingship or fellowship
.Sex education should be taught in school but the children must not be given homework
.What’s the worst thing about Ancient History Class? They tend to Babylon
.Relationships are like black people , most of them don't work..
.Life is very funny if you take the time to watch it.
.I was motivated to be different in part because I’m different
.Yeah, I’m sorry; I can’t afford a Ferrari. But that doesn’t mean I can’t get you there
.I used to have a handle on life; but it broke
.Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera
.If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart
.It’s all shit and giggles until someone giggles and shits!
.I miss you like an idiot misses the point
.My Dentist told me I needed a crown, so I felt like a king
.When you are stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelt backwards is desserts
.Dear haters, I couldin’t help but notice that “AwesoME” ends with “ME” and and Ugly starts with “U”
.I’ve taken up photography because it’s the only hobby where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail
.I told a chemistry joke and there was no reaction
.A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice Jester
.How do you make Holy Water?....You boil the hell out of it
.What’s the best thing about elevator jokes; They work on so many levels
.Can February March? .. No, but April May
.How did the trees feel in Spring? .. reLEAVED
.I gave all my dead batteries away today; free of charge
.The new restaurant on the moon had great food. There’s just no atmosphere
.What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up
.How do you count cows? With a cowculator
.Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack
.What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator
.Never trust an atom; they make up everything
.I saw a kidnapping today but decided not to wake him up
.Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
.Should you ever need an Ark, I Noah a guy
.I wondered why the football was getting bigger and then … it hit me
.Why did the baker have to go to work everyday? He kneaded the dough
.Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned
.Why did Santa go to college for music? To improve his wrapping skills
.Why did the electron have no friends? He was always negative
.If a clown farts, Does it smell funny?
.I can’t stand being in a wheelchair
.Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? As for me, I do
.Why did a man put his money into the freezer? Because he wanted hard cold cash
.What did water said to boat? Nothing, it only waved.
.Why don’t two skeletons fight with one another? Because they both don’t have guts
.What did a fish say at the time of swimming into the wall? Dam
.How do prisoners communicate with one another? With the use of cell phones
.What will you get from pampered cows? Spoilt milk
.What do you get when crossing a snowman with vampire? Frostbite
.Where do snowmen keep their money safely? in the snowbanks.
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