HUMOUR ME - short funny jokes; laughing tonics

U see dis life is like EBA; Anybody can make it

.

.

Nobody keeps secret like a Nigerian travelling abroad for the first time,The fear of Village people is d Beginning of wisdom

.

Thank God I saved a life today . . . I asked a Beggar, How will u feel if I give u 10 million naira He replied, "Oh Lad I will just die" So I kept my money.

.

When you send me a friend request with your profile picture as a car, do you want me to open the door and check who is inside?

.

Even if you post his picture and caption it "My boo","Bae","Father of my kids",if they want him they still take him.. Small girls with Big God

.

Your boyfriend's slim and you're slim Whenever you guys are holding hands on the road..you two be looking like capital letter H

.

My Neighbour Is Planning on Bringing Witch Doctor 2 d Compound Just Because Someone Stole His 🐔. Chicken That's Not sweet😋😋😋

.

Dating a girl that bleach is frustrating,she will be pregnant and u will be expecting a cute baby like c. Ronaldo boom , oshiomole will come out.

.

Please can someone send money into my bank account I just want to know If the alert is working Please

.

>If you can't manage a *relationship*, you can try other *SHIPS* like. *internship , kingship or fellowship*

.

One remarkable thing about living in a single room is that you will wake up and see all your properties at once 😂😂😂😂

.

Dating a broke yahoo boy is so confusing you will be like if I leave him now he may blow tomorrow 😂 Girls una too like money

.

Being Dumped BY Someone You Truly LOVE, Can Make You Watch T.V Without Volume For 8Hours.

.

The way Nigerian police will be shouting ''lets go to the station''. You will think it's something 50 naira cannot solve...abeg take... 😎😎

.

I Stopped Watching Nolly wood Movies when I Heard A Blind Woman Saying"My Son, I'm Happy To See You."

.

Since I removed Fat People From My Face book And Whats App, My Mb Dey Last Now, Even My Battery Too.. In short My Phone Has Stop *Hanging...😀😀😀*

.

Threatening a Yoruba person with " I GO SHOW YOU PEPPER " is like telling a monkey " I wee give u banana " Wisdom won't kill me. 😂

.

English teacher will tell me to write composition about myself and still score me 2/10.... Please sir, Are you me? Is you me? Are me you? Is you I? I is me? 😒😒😒😒

.

I don't like people who can't let go of the past especially people am owing money😏😏😏

.

How can somebody be so broke..to the extent that when you call his number it will say..."The number you are calling cannot be RICH

.

Some People Will Still Fail This Simple Question. What's Ur ATM Pin code?

.

Tears of joy is when a car hit you down you see Dangote coming out from the car

.

I will be having a small party at my place this weekend. if you are free and interested you can also do the same at your place.

.

I want A Relationship 💏That Will Lead To Somewhere...Like Paris Or Dubai! 🗼🗽 Not fast food joint and bar

.

When you die, you don't know that you are Dead . All the pain is felt by others .The same thing happens when you are stupid.

.

When you broke, you start remembering where you ate and didn't collect change

.

Not everyone who checks up on you actually Cares..some want to confirm if their witchcraft worked.

.

Remember back then when u were a kid, and u thought ur 25 years old unemployed uncle wasn't serious about life? Look at yourself now😂

.

Slap me ,stab me,offend me I will forgive u. But if u jump me while sharing jollof rice @ a Wedding, Trust me we will die together

.

That moment when you help your mum to shout your siblings names and she be like "Oh you're even there Oya come and do it"😭😭😂🚶

.

When I finally buy my range rover, I will drive to the house of my ex and ask for the direction to my own house from her 😁😁😁

.

Nolly wood sef have tire me ... how can Angel be putting on eye glass 😢😢

.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher! 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

.

That embarrassing moment when you're seated beside your crush in church and then your kid bro came running with #20 note in his hands... "Brother.. mummy said I should give u for offering" 😂😂

.

I will Name My Daughter "Not Interested"So when these Guys be like Hi Babe, I am DennisShe will simply be like Hi Dennis, I am Not Interested.

.

Old People Will Act As If They Know Everything Until Its Time To Load Airtime.

.

In Nigeria there is nothing like battery full,we charge till NEPA takes light and if they bring it again we continue charging😁

.

Work hard so you can discipline your kids with Gucci belt ... not a sticks😀😀😀😀😀😀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😀😀😀🤣😆😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😃😃

.

I wonder why visitors act like they are concentrating on Tv, when they see you coming in with food

.

Good morning to all the ladies, as for you guys I'm sure you're man enough to greet yourselves.

.
.

Teacher: Eggistu, Mention (10) wild animals you know.
Eggistu: 5 Lions & 5 Tigers😠😠😝

.

You're not ugly. You just need money, Good Camera & abroad weather. ☝☝☝☝☝

.

After buying my iPhone 8+, I now understand why iPhone users behave as if they don’t have pockets. How can I put a whole plot of land in my pocket?? “😅😅

.

A POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA
If u knw u are not up to 18 on my friendlist kindly say hi let me take u to children department. 😞

.

😠
<))>
  /\
How girls stand when asking their boyfriend's, "Baby, who is she??"

.

Of all men Adam was the happiest; He had no mother-in-law.

.

Some Africans will travel abroad for one week and and take 500 pictures, come back and be posting it small small for 5 years.I don't know who bewitched my fellow brothers and sisters

.

Once an African ghetto boy owns a laptop, He becomes a Dj

.

Those who did Agriculture at School why do Chickens run before having sex?

.

Some 9ja police go belike "stop there!!! Mr man, why are you walking on the road with singlet in this cold weather??😨😨😨 you want cold to enter your body so you will go and look for somebody's daughter to rape abi?😕😦 You are under arrest for attempting rape in Advance My friend enter motor 🚖 😂😂😂😂😂🏃 🏃 🏃 🏃

.