TOP 50 VERY SHORT FUNNY DIS JOKES - general dis; laughing tonic, written comedy

LADIES: We heard pretty girls don’t pay for drinks around here
BARTENDER: they don’t, here’s your bill

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GIRL: I like a guy who’s in touch with his feminine side
GUY: trying to impress her) I’m on my period

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GUY: Damn girl are you a newspaper?
GIRL: No why?
GUY: ‘Coz there’s a new issue with you every single day

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GIRL: What is the first thing you notice when you look at another girl
BOY: That she isn’t you

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Some people just can’t take a compliment:ME:EWETA:(Punched me in the face)

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What Is Facebook? It’s a place where a boy posts joke, gets no response and if a girl posts the same joke, gets 150 likes and 56 friend requests.

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BOY: Wanna hear a joke?
GIRL: Of course!
BOY: Knock, knock!
GIRL: Who’s there?
BOY: Marry
GIRL: marry who?
BOY: marry me

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Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female….

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Any woman can be a mother, but it takes a bad-ass mum to be a dad too

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Birth control pills should be for men ….it makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bullet proof vest

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Why do people who sit in front of commercial buses Feel they made it in life?

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He promise 2 take u 2 places u ve never been b4 & u were happy. he took u 2 his village & u re angry, My sister ve u be dere b4?

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Black people don't leave a voice mail They leave a 100 missed calls

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Some women say men are dogs but when you whistle they turn around, My sister tell me who's the dog?

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One Aboki Just Called Me. I Told Him It Was A Wrong Number . The Aboki Later Called Back To Ask Me If I Know The Correct Number .🤣🤣.

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Insanity is when you've fake nails, fake hair, fake boobs, fake love, fake eye lashes, fake Facebook pictures but you still want a real man

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If he tells you... "you are important and very valuable to him'', but his family doesn't know you, my sister, you are just as valuable as a bag of weed

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Can some one tell these girls who wear chains around their legs that the SLAVE TRADE is over!! Stop giving us flash backs!

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Some girls are very funny, just three months of dating and she wants to see my parent, It took me 9 months to see my own parent

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I Can't Wait To Hate My Daughter's Boyfriend For No Reason. He Must Also Pass Through What I'm Going Through 😭😭😂

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Girl: baby i need to change my wardrobe..*
Boy: 08088456745, that is d carpenter's number. Call him

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How can you go for a job interview and Be fighting with another applicant over Socket to charge ur phone?

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Sometimes everybody isn't staring at you because they think you're attractive, it could be your makeup is not matching your neck!

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Just because a man desires you doesn't mean he values you...People keep cats just to get rid of rats.

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Nowadays my Ex will do anything just to make me feel jealous; she even hug trees😂

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Some Ladies Think Some Guys Are Romantic To Join Them In The Kitchen But We Just Wanna Make Sure You don't Put Juju In our food.

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When people say that they can't see anything good in you hug them and tell them life is not easy for the blind.

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Call your girlfriend and tell her to visit you, she'll ask you to send her transport money But if someone tells her that you have a lady in your room, she can even hire a private jet.

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Women Who Can't Cook Can Be So Dramatic, You'll Find Her Wearing An Apron Just To Boil water.

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Nothing confuses me like a lady with hairy armpits & shaved eyebrows

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Before you have sex in the name of a COLD weather, remember that, HOT Tea 🍵 is cheaper than baby 👶👶🏿 pampers

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Public disgrace is when you see your boyfriend who promises u heaven on earth at idumota under bridge dancing shaku shaku to win an indomie face cap 😋

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If your name is still "Baby" during an argument with your woman then you are safe my brother!

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You haven't moved on if you still remember your ex's phone number.

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If you call a girl & she's not picking, send her airtime, take one digit out and wait "Thank me later" 🏃🏃🏃🏃

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In Nigeria right now, a virgin is someone who hasn't given birth before 🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 😂😂🚶🚶

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Girls can be so wicked u re using iphone8📱 & still calling to tell me u're hungry? Sister eat the remaining apple🍏 at d back of ur phone! Rubbish!!!!!😠😠😠🚶🚶🚶🚶😀😀😀

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Some guys work on facebook na only to they toast women inbox,how can u toast over 20 girls a day u won build female hostel? 😠

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Am I the only one that walks slowly behind people to avoid greeting them😐

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It's only in Africa where the relationship ends but sex continues

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Are u sure this person u re dating is dating you

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Being ugly is not easy.. you snap 85 pics, you delete 80, edit 5 and you post 1

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When You Go With Your Girlfriend To Your Friend's House And The Dog Doesn't Bark At Her, ask ur friend question

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Ladies If u see d way ur Boyfriend is seriously telling another Girls He doesn't have a Girlfriend u will just breakup with Him and start dating me

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Some people are funny sef, you see"ordinary" Davido you started fainting if u now see me nko wetin u go come do?

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If she block, unblock, block, unblock you... My brother marry that psycho she really love you.

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Ladies being independent isn't something to brag about.you're doing exactly what is expected of any adult human being..

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The number she is refusing to give you is the same number another guy just deleted. Don't kill yourself my brother.

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There is always someone right for you.You just loved the wrong person.

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I pity guys who have to travel long distances just to go and see their cheating girlfriends. Or don't u pity dem?